Bouncing Forward: My Journey from Surviving to Thriving
Resilience is a topic that has deeply resonated with me, especially in recent years. Like many, the pandemic brought unexpected challenges, leaving lasting effects on my personal and professional life. But even before the pandemic, I faced personal hardships that tested the very core of my resilience.
I experienced not one, but three miscarriages. The first one was by far the hardest. It’s something that isn’t often talked about openly—did you know that almost 40% of pregnancies end in miscarriage? It’s a statistic we rarely hear in movies or everyday conversation. For me, these losses were painful both physically and mentally, and the aftermath involved over a dozen scans. Each scan served as a reminder that my baby was no longer growing. I felt numb during that time, but reflecting now, I realize just how profound the pain was.
However, through these painful moments, I began to build a network of support. Online communities, doctors, therapists, and grief groups became my anchors. Through coaching and the love of my family, I started the slow process of healing. I thought this was resilience—I believed that by surviving, I was growing stronger.
But recently, I attended an ICF training with Denise Campbell, and I realized I had misunderstood the concept. Resilience, as I learned, is often described as the ability to "bounce back." I had been trying to bounce back to my old life, contemplating moving back to Toronto and longing for the days when I could walk to a physical office and have friends nearby. But the truth is, life had already changed. I wasn’t going to bounce back; I needed to learn how to “bounce forward” (Campbell, n.d.).
"Bouncing forward" (Campbell, n.d.) means accepting that things have changed and finding ways to thrive in the new reality. Over the past five years, without even realizing it, I had already started bouncing forward. I’ve built strong relationships with friends across different cities, and though we live miles apart, our connections remain as close as ever. I’ve also made new friends here in Kelowna, even when we seemingly have nothing in common. I recently bought snowshoes, hoping that this winter I can explore the beautiful outdoors, embracing new experiences and continuing to move forward.
Perhaps thriving in this new direction can feel more like embarking on a luxury cruise—calm, supported, and at peace. It’s not about rushing through turbulent waters, but rather gliding steadily forward, knowing you have everything you need on board. This journey feels restful, with a newfound sense of ease and relaxation that I had never experienced when I was just trying to "survive."
Denise Campbell's course taught me that resilience is about adapting to change and thriving, not just surviving. As she explains, resilience is about "bouncing forward," not just "bouncing back" to the way things were (Campbell, n.d.). I encourage anyone interested in learning more to reach out to her for guidance.
As the world continues to evolve, I feel more confident that we will all find ways to thrive, no matter the challenges we face. What about you? In what ways have you bounced forward after the pandemic?
See you on the cruise,
Wynne
Bibliography
Campbell, D. Resilience: Bouncing Forward, Not Back. DC Learning. Accessed September 24, 2024. https://dclearning.co.uk/