Essentials

First and foremost before going into this story I want to thank all the essential people out there who are keeping the place in which I live still in working order. I am grateful for the water coming out from the tap, the food that we have in our fridge and electricity, this - the internet having access to connect with others through this digital service.

Though everyday I feel like everything is about to come undone. I feel like I am surrendering to what this world wants to do in order to rebalance or recalibrate. Maybe something has been out of calibration for a while now. This pause, this time to reflect is what is needed. But what is it that needs to be recalibrated?

I believe that it won’t take too long for us to if not already feel but to understand all that’s been going on for a long time. I believe that what will happen to us will be so far beyond our control. Maybe we will finally realize how small we really are and how little we really matter. What are we all doing here anyways?

My mom recently had to stop working because of her age. This was her first time taking time off since I can remember (that’s at least 25 years guys). Last week, I caught her smiling, secretly. I notice her watching YouTube videos on cooking and almost everyday we get to try something new that she made. She looks less tense and more relaxed.

Today, I wake up to a full house with my cat screeching for food (no idea how a deaf kitty knows I’m in the kitchen). Then comes my mom asking if I’ve eaten yet, and finally my husband who’s constantly asking me how I feel and if he could help with anything. This weekend, we went out for a walk downtown by the boardwalk and bumped into a friend who stopped to talk to us for a long while, while we shared stories on this crazy indoor life. Strangely I feel fulfilled in a way that I have never felt; yet I am making the least amount of money that I’ve made in the last 8 years in my career.