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“Tears From Heaven”, Acrylic on muslin, 36” x 60”, Wynne Leung, 2019

This is a story about a girl. Inside that girl is another one who couldn’t stop crying.

Her tears seeped into the ground and over years made rivers and waterfalls. Her tears grew beautiful flowers, trees and vegetation. Soon, mountains were filled with beautiful flowers, bees and furry friends. Fish swam through the rivers covered with flowers.

The scent of flowers blossoming emitted through her face and skin. People who passed by can feel and smell the aura of being alive - of being able to cry for the entire world. Strangers came and hugged her and she never knew why. Travelers she met in different places would open up to her and tell her deep stories and she also never knew why. But she listened and felt for them.

She also never knew until this painting was made that the years of crying that is what birthed a magical place filled with colorful fresh flowers, tress and a never ending supply of water.

She stopped feeling ashamed of feeling her emotions deeply and embraced this beautiful place that was created inside of her. She can finally feel proud to share her inner world with others.

Fin

“Tears From Heaven”, Acrylic on muslin, 36” x 60”, Wynne Leung, 2019

I’ve been taking a course on Coursera called “Agile Meets Design Thinking”, and essentially a lot of it is about building closer relationships with our users, clients and how might we uncover and create hypothesis that will add value to their product and services.

At the same time, I’m also the sole caregiver to my aging mother, and have been looking into public programs for caregiver support. Thankfully there are many programs in BC and looks like the theme and intention of building strong relationships is coming up in public programs as well.

In the public medical field where general practice doctors refer patients in this case senior patients to speciality care; there is a need for them to be in better relation. Better relationships between the two types of doctors increases job satisfaction and makes work more meaningful and addresses burnout. Key parts to creating better relationship include:

• A focus on respectful communication

• Being compassionate with each other

• Communicating clearly

• Engage in deliberate relationship building

• Have day in-person interactions

• A need to embrace a team approach with timely communication and role clarity

What does it mean to have respectful communication?

First let’s look at what incivility looks like:

• Skipped hello

• Talking over, down, being condescending

• Sarcasm

• Eye rolling or other demeaning gestures

• Showing little interest in someone else’s opinion

• Rude use of technology

• Calling someone out, blaming publicly

• Demeaning or derogatory remarks about a person

• Doubted a person’s judgement in a matter in which they have responsibility

• Not answering calls or delaying doing so for intentional miscommunication

• Impatience

• Yelling

And, on the other hand here are five fundamentals of civility:

• Respect others and yourself

• Be aware

• Communicate effectively

• Take good care of yourself

• Be responsible

It is very interesting to see the similar need for closer relationships in both product design and in public programs. I wonder if our digital transformation and the speed in which we can communicate effects our habits in creating meaningful relationships?

Either way, I think I’m excited and feel glad that theses topics are being discussed in the public space and are being addressed to improve our care and relationships.

- Wynne

Source:
Michael Kaufmann, Ontario Medical Association Physician Health Program, multiple publications
“Event April 29, 2019, Coordinating Complex Care for Older Adults.” Event April 29, 2019, Coordinating Complex Care for Older Adults | Shared Care, www.sharedcarebc.ca/results/events-and-outcomes/event-april-29-2019-coordinating-complex-care-older-adults.

Looking back at this year, here are nine moments that bring a smile to my face.

1. Getting married in February in City Hall. So grateful for the love from my friends and family; near and far. I’m grateful for you all.

2. Seeing Boyz II Men in Las Vegas LIVE. Seriously. Special bonus that we got to see David Copperfield perform illusions as well. Waldorf Astoria lets you order delicious drinks and drink them in their very clean and amazing outdoor pool.

3. Traveling 17 hours to Australia with Cam and seeing the world from down under. Visiting my uncle and niece; saying hello to my mom’s brother for her alongside my husband.

4. Successfully sponsoring Cam to come to Canada! Thank you Cando Immigration.

5. Saying farewell to my art teachers, Mel Prest and Patrick Dintino. Thank you for the farewell wishes and tea party Mel Prest and thank you Patrick Dintino for taking Cam and I on an awesome sailboat ride with the class. I will forever remember how much love you have made me feel and how much you give to others. Thank you.

6. Relocating back to Canada with my husband to be with my mom. Right now and right here finally feels right.

7. Seeing my friends when I came back to Kelowna. It’s been a long time but love is still here and was always here.

8. Celebrating Christmas in our new home with friends and family. It is truly everything that I wanted and needed.

9. Taking my cat to the vet and being here for him after all these years. I lost one cat already, so glad this one waited for me to get back.

I received a lot more than this last year. Looking back I can only say that I’m feeling really blessed with just so much. Thank you to all my friends and family that have supported Cam and I through this journey of starting our new life together! We are so excited for all the ups, downs and sideways yet to come!

Love,

Wynne

When Cam and I decided to leave San Francisco to be closer to my mom in Canada I knew that we were taking a risk. For a long time, I lived my life in a scale friendly way, which included writing a plan, raising money to do that plan, building (getting that job and promotion), and then saving money for the future and then finally I re-evaluated last year and realized that a lot of what I was doing and the way that I was living my life had no value to me.

I took a chance, quit my job and relocated to Canada with Cam. We had eight humongous luggages with us to start our new life. Thank you Uber! I remember seeing a senior couple 5am in the airport who came up to us to ask, “What are you guys up to? Moving today?” and Cam said, “Yup! We are moving out of here to start something new”. He replied with, “I wish I did that back in the day! Good luck!”

I know that we needed more than luck. Years of working in agile in SF taught me a lot about innovation friendly practices, which is why a lot of how we are living now is an experiment. We are continuing to test to see if our new life meets our values. So the basis of innovation friendly practices, based on agile is:

1. Asking why; why is this person or something currently doing this? 

• We moved back to Canada because we wanted to be closer to family, spend more time together as a couple and with my family.

2. Then ask to surface values: Why is this person or something doing this? Usually people do something in a way because there is something that is valuable to them. People usually don’t do something that doesn’t work. Discover why they are doing that thing rather than how.

• Living in the city; we spent a lot of time commuting and I really enjoy the time that Cam and I got to spend together. It would be nice to be able to do that as a newlywed as well.

• Living away from my mom for seven years I just miss her. I hope that living in the same place will give us more time to spend together and enjoy our life!

• I also want to live in a place where we can buy a home. Living in the city the houses were close to a million dollars.

3. Create a simple prototype - test it out see it works (duct tape); and if it’s true.

• We moved to Kelowna with only things that we needed. We wanted to start off fresh. We sold everything else in the city and gave away a lot to our friends.

• Living in a small town we are getting a lot more time to spend together because it’s no longer taking three hours to commute to work.

• We are also spending a lot more time together as a family

• We are also living in a place where we can buy a home where the average price of a home is about $500,000 CAD. Much more achievable!

4. Then we build a product around that’s really tightly defined what was important 

• We continue to build our live here with my new design business and taking on a new full time position in January. So, we continue to add concrete plans around what’s important and valuable.

5. We scale this up - we are constantly looking to see if it is valuable to the user or not

• This honestly is anything from taking a job to purchasing more expensive items for our home. We started off with a lot of second hand items and now we are slowly adding more higher quality items.

• We continue to evaluate by talking a lot as a family. Is what we’re doing valuable to us? And the more that we do this, I notice we gradually reveal and develop what we value more as a family together.

I’ve been taking this Digital Transformation class on Coursera and today they introduced a model to help companies use data to create solutions that help build their vision. I learned through it that NASA was trying to solve a problem for Solar Particle Events. They tried to solve it for 40 years and was unable to solve it. They decided to use data and crowdsourced the solution. They were able to successfully find the solution in three months for $30,000. That’s 160 times faster and in less than 1% of the original time used of 40 years(0,625%).

So, I wondered if I can use the same model towards my personal vision: Live together as a family, own our home, do meaningful work, continue to save for our retirement and make money to support those endeavors. Here’s what I made:

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Basically learned that there’s a lot to learn and that I’m not nearly using the amount of data available online. I can probably go section by section to continue learning. I noticed that the more that I learn, the more confident I feel towards my vision

If you’ve been thinking about your next adventure and are looking for a fun activity - I re-created the PDF above into a template; you can download it below:

Have a great day!

- Wyns

The problem that we’re trying to solve is how do we both grow through our professional and personal life through this digital transformation?

What makes this problem interesting; is finding different ways to analyze and research ways to solve it. To do this, we found a strategy that firms apply for innovation called, ambidexterity.

It’s a constant orchestration and balance of what we can exploit: based on who are, and explore: what we want to know (innovate). This allows us to both explore and continue to generate an income on what we’ve already built.

The goal is to achieve ambidexterity; which is the ability for firms, in this case for us to balance both exploitation and exploration. Less than 11% of firms achieve this.

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Here is what I learned so far in our exploration space:

Exploration Questions:

• What are the types of remote jobs available today for design?

  • Remote Women - Great community with lots of remote jobs and a very supportive Slack channel

  • Ladies Get Paid - Also has a remote channel to search for remote jobs

• Who are the leaders in disrupting the traditional way of conducting business and learning about design?

  • Chris Do - The Futur - Business and Design Education, Revolutionized. Chris offers tons of free tutorials that support designers into implementing strategy and solutions to their clients on YouTube.

• Learn more about digital transformation and how does it affects us and what we want to know in this journey?

  • Took classes on Coursera - I did this because I wanted to layer on knowledge to my actual experience, which are two different things. It’s helping so far as I feel have through it picked up new topics to explore further.

• What are the local creative communities in Kelowna?

  • OKColab - Coworking space in Downtown Kelowna

• How does it feel to be close with family and spending our time together?

  • So far, I noticed myself feeling much happier and supported. I never knew this is really whatI needed. I’m so grateful.

• What does retirement look like for us? What do we need and when do we want to retire?

  • For this we contacted someone from the community who helped us create several different routes towards our retirement. If you want the name of this person, please contact me directly. We learned how much we needed to save everyday and decided on when we wanted to retire. This helped us tremendously in deciding the type of work that we needed and where we want to live.

• What really matters to us?

  • For this we are both getting support for life coaching and therapy with Megan Lipsett at Copia Health. Megan supports both of us in our mental, spiritual and professional growth by encouraging us to continue to challenge ourselves and to go through the challenge.

• What is it like to be self-employed again?

  • Working with clients directly is something that I really enjoy and have enjoyed in the past when I was freelancing. I think that having the autonomy to apply process and try new methods with clients is something that makes me feel excited. I also feel really free when I get to just decided to take on new clients and always glad to be part of the process to help them with their business needs.

So, the orchestration continues. I hope this was helpful and talk again soon!

- Wynne

I know there’s a movie with that name, but I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about Big Love. One that is bigger than what you’d experience on the surface. Big love. Love that is willing to forgive. Love that cries with you even when you know it’s all your fault. Big love. Love that is so strong that it can swallows experiences that most cannot forgive. That’s big love. Believing that the love that you share is stronger than all the mistakes, resentments and tears. Big love. One that won’t abandon you and promises to be with you through thick and thin. That’s big love. To believe that there is such love possible, I have to be willing to give it. To be the big love. I never knew until recently that I have been giving big love. That the love I share with my family is a BIG one.

Then, something miraculous happened to me today. I realized that Karma is real and that she is now giving me back big, big love. I have a beautiful home that I live in now. I finally have what I wanted a studio space to design and to paint. I get to wake up everyday and see my husband, my mother and Simbacat. We are all healthy, strong and able. Most of all today, we have more than we could ever imagine and need.

KARMA often capitalized : the force generated by a person's actions held in Hinduism and Buddhism to perpetuate transmigration and in its ethical consequences to determine the nature of the person's next existence

Wynne

Winter is finally here and it snowed for the first time last week. The days feel cold in the morning and I’m finding it hard to get out of bed. Maybe my body is reminded that it’s Winter, the season when mammals hibernate. We are mammals right? Apparently bears can go on for one hundred days without needing to eat sleep or go to the bathroom.

I’m feeling grateful tonight reflecting on why I feel so groggy and tired in the morning. We worked so hard this year. It’s like for ten years nothing happened and then suddenly we decided that it would be a fantastic idea to get engaged, married, travel to Australia, quit my job, relocate to a different country and start my own business in eight months. Kind of like the Amazing Race except the race keeps on going. It’s no wonder I am feeling tired.

So for the rest of this year 2019 I’m grateful to finish a few freelance gigs and then shutting it all down to spend time with friends and family, sleep in, take long baths and to really let my body rest.

- Wynne

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Umbra Terrace Jewelry Tray - $40

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Umbra - Touch Trash Can - $20

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Umbra - Anigram Ring Holder - $9 each

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Costco - Set of 6 Ceramic Bowls with Lid - $19.99

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Itoya 17"x23" Potfolio Midtown Bag - Gray - $21

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Umbra - Hub Ladder - $120

It was just Black Friday guys and I cannot help but to post something about the “things” that I bought recently that sparked joy. Cam and I sold, gave away almost everything when we came to Canada with our three luggages each. After I did that I kind of didn’t want to buy anything unless it “sparked Marie Kondo Joy”.

Some of my favorite items that we bought recently not only sparked joy but thinking about them; they were designed really well.

Umbra, is one of my favorite brands. They do a really great job at creating products with have lines, colors, shapes and materials that are in harmony with a specific space. The design never tries to combat or take the spotlight of any space; rather the way in which it’s designed to be used is so natural to the way that a user would use it; which is what makes it a have great user experience. This makes the products acceptable and adaptable for folks like us who are always moving.

I bought not one but three trash bins from Umbra because they didn’t look like traditional trash cans. Every time I throw something in and see the lid naturally sway back into neutral makes me feel so understood! Under each side of the lid are weights that ensure that the lid is closed every time you put a piece of trash in it. Leaving it closed also hides the garbage so the user doesn’t have to see it.

I collect jewelry when I go on trips and I’ve been trying to find a meaningful jewelry box where I’m able to see all the pieces but not always wear them. Umbra designed a jewelry tray that allows me easily see, sort and arrange my little gifts from afar. I appreciate that the design is much different than the conventional jewelry box that closes off and doesn’t let the beautiful pieces of jewelry be seen.

I also recently bought a large portfolio bag to house all my paper artwork. The bag was made out of felt, which made me feel secure knowing the paper pieces would be cozied up and kept flat in a dry space. Felt is also so versatile and can be rolled up or transported if need be. I much prefer this one to the large plastic portfolio bags with zippers.

As newborn folks in a smaller town we joined Costco and purchased a set of beautiful ceramic bowls. Putting away my mom’s delicious meals and my own in these beautiful bowls with easy to use lids just makes me feel so proud of the meals that we made. The ceramic material also upgraded the experience of eating leftovers when seeing the beautifully decorated ceramic bowls in the fridge; instead of seeing floppy plastic throwaway dishes.

Wynne

“San Francisco” - Photography: Cameron McIntosh

Sometimes when I wake up in the morning I have to readjust to this new surrounding. I can barely believe I’ve been away for seven years. I stayed away so long because I felt so afraid that I was leaving a career that I worked so hard to build. Today, as I look around in our apartment; the decision to come home should have been so obvious.

I am still in awe at how happy I feel when I get to walk over to see my mom working at her desk or cooking in the kitchen. I’m shocked at how many years I missed seeing her on Facetime. I feel glad that I get hear my cat meowing at me to get food. He’s aging quite nicely but getting to be sixteen, an old man now. And so loved by my husband who’s always looking over with the sweetest smile.

When this happens I know that no matter what happens to us as a family that we’ll be able to dance our way through it, and that I will always try to let what fears me most guide me to the next step. Hopefully it’ll not take seven years; but sometimes seven years is better than an eternity.

Wynne

I recently took up writing; something that I didn’t do much in the past. I mostly painted and drew. I didn’t know how powerful writing can feel and most of all speaking.

I also never knew I also had permission to speak, have an opinion and lead a conversation. It wasn’t until a recent interview where I was asked to “lead the conversation” and “speak about your life” that I actually did, and when I did it felt amazing. I can’t believe it but I spoke up clearly and confidently. I spoke about my experience in design, my process and challenges. I talked about my values, what I believed in and asked for what I needed. I was so energized and pumped to hear my own voice and how aligned it was to my values and my heart.

So after that refreshing experience I’m going to speak up MUCH more often now because I want to be the only leader of my life and practice makes improvement! :D

Wynne

I think what makes my relationship with my mother special is that we’ve always been each other’s only ones. We were always here for each other. Ever since I was three. I think that’s hard. I think that’s damn good enough.

I think that’s almost celebratory. What we were both able to accomplish in the last thirty years together. I’m reading a book called “Maid”, by Stephanie Land. It’s about a single mother raising her child working as a maid. Mom being an immigrant, woman of color and a single mother was really hard.

She didn’t have anyone else to help her and I couldn’t help her. She never had anyone else to work for her when she couldn’t. I don’t remember seeing her ever taking a sick day in my life; other than the time she had surgery. She’s worked at least eight hours six days a week. She tried to get a degree when I was younger in culinary arts but gave it up and never finished.

That’s why I’ve always worked equally hard. There was nobody else. My manager at Amazon said that I was a “work horse”. I think he meant that I work hard or look like a horse. Not sure. And another manager said that I was a “go getter”. Which, in a sense I was. I don’t think I had a choice guys. I felt like I was running a race and I was already a hundred steps behind. So yes, I had to go and get it.

Now, being self-employed I am so grateful that I can finally slow down and really talk to my clients. Learn the courses that I need to improve in my profession on Coursera. Volunteer with groups in my community like Coolarts, where we make art with adults with learning disabilities. Giving a voice to everyone to self-express in whichever way works best for them.

It took a long time to get here, but we are here. I’m so grateful for this journey and excited to see where this takes me and my family.

Wynne

As we get to the age when we are taking care of our retired parents sometimes it can feel very challenging. Please don’t leave me hanging here guys, I know that at least one of you are also doing the same! Bless you, I get it. Super tough job for all of us. I wish we had handbooks (but then that would be no fun).

I’ve always been interested in learning about rehabilitation and forgiveness as my mother suffered from mental illness and addiction. Throughout my life I supported us both financially and mentally (and continue to do so).

I learned thankfully from my family, friends and therapy how to set healthy boundaries and have difficult conversations (and always still learning). I am so grateful my local community that’s been there to help my mother heal. I am so serious that without those programs I wouldn’t know where to call or who would understand. And of course always the “blood of my blood”, my husband who’s been so supportive and understanding.

Today, I watched a four part series called “College Behind Bars” by Ken Burns. I got to learn about the lives of inmates and their experience of getting a college degree. I was really moved by their total commitment and the effort it took to stay committed. I can see, how hard it is to choose to be better to learn.

The sub-title, “nobody taught me” was true with my mom as well. Mom told me that growing up nobody asked her what it meant to love. That nobody taught her what it means to forgive. She said she was mostly alone her whole life and was taught to grow up and find someone to marry. Nobody taught my mother how to have meaningful relationships, have difficult conversations, ask for what she needed and how she felt. That is terrible. So I am here for her. Always and forever.

However, when you have a parent (like me) or child with mental illness it can feel exhausting. Having patience sounds like a joke because - girl, I’ve had her for three decades. But maybe it’s not only about having patience. Maybe it’s also being totally committed to being tolerant and understanding. Like making it an everyday practice to listen, apologize, ask how to make it right, not holding onto resentments and choosing a good time to talk.

Learning how to love is a total commitment. If I can continue to practice that, then maybe everything else will become crystal clear.

Wynne

I grew up in a family that wasn’t mine. I was kind of like adopted with love to my aunt and uncles who were all engineers. Cousins that I grew up with were also focused on math, sciences and engineering. I struggled, every year to compete with them in grades but I would always be second, third or fourth place. Yes, that is a real thing though not sure if it just made me feel worse :D

I loved the arts. I just did. I loved making it, drawing, colors and painting. But nobody else in the family did. Through learning math and art I found myself in the field of design. For years I wondered where are my people at! Where are all the painters and artists? However, knowing how to do math, did help in design. As I learned I equally enjoyed making something that is fully functional, works and is beautiful :) Like a real Marie Kondo kind of sparks joy.

During my time in San Francisco I explored that a lot hoping to love the two different pieces of myself completely.

I am so grateful for the friends and co-workers who joined in to explore that together and made me feel less alone. My friend Ann and I organized a series called Sip & Sketch; where we would create art in tech companies and at the YMCA. I didn’t know it then; but I know now that I did it hoping to find people like me; who were also interested in both art and engineering.

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The world of public arts is still unfortunately not well funded at all, compared to the amount of money in tech. I joined a fellowship called Emerging Arts while in SF that was funded by the city. They gathered twenty five public workers such as teachers, program directors and gallery managers. Once a month we met at a warm public space that is donated by the city. Depending on where we got space sometimes the gathering was in SF, but sometimes we would need to travel to Oakland or other parts of the city like the Tenderloin. When I opened the fridge in those spaces I usually saw neatly packed lunches and maybe sometimes I saw milk. This made me feel shocked. Compared to the daily fresh free meals I received working in tech and all the free snacks. It just felt confusing how different those two worlds were. How can this be, if both worlds needed each other that one didn’t have the same as the other? Experiencing those two worlds I often felt guilty for having so much for free yet knowing there is another part of me that also belongs to a place that doesn’t have the same resources.

I wonder what will happen to us in the future? I hope that both worlds come closer together. I think they are. I’ve seen more collaborations between the arts and tech companies in the last year. Such as commissioning large murals and more artwork in tech spaces. I guess we’ll see.

Wynne

“Let everything happen to you. Beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.”

- Rainer Maria Rilke

I went to see Jojo Rabbit today with my husband on our date night. It’s a movie starring Roman Griffin Davis, Taika Waititi, Scarlett Johansson, Thomasin McKenzie, Rebel Wilson, Stephen Merchant, Alfie Allen and Sam Rockwell.

The movie had a special message (spoiler alert guys) that: “they did what they can”. Didn’t seem like a lot “could” be done back then during WW2. Today I’m not running from bombs. I have this chance to love everyone around me rather than to hate them. I don’t have to be forced to love or hate anyone. I don’t have to choose sides. I can speak up and have an opinion. I was reminded to feel grateful and not take all of this peace that we fought so hard for - for granted.

To to take deep breaths, laugh out loud, kiss my husband and hug my mom whenever I can. And to always be willing to love and respect everyone around me. And if it’s in me to forgive myself and others who’ve passed me by then so be it.

Here’s to dancing through life openly, joyously and with open arms, because we can (still).

Wynne

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"Exodus", Mixed Media on Paper, 20" x 30", Wynne Leung

What is our relationship with technology? When was the first time, we used technology in our life?

I first used it when I was seven or eight. We had Nintendo and I remember feeling so much joy playing Tetris and Mario with my cousins - it didn’t matter that it only had nine levels. I can’t remember any interactions with technology before that. We went outside a lot. Then came Encarta and feeling so excited to search in an encyclopedia on my desktop computer. I loved watching the videos.

And it continued with getting access to the internet. Chatting constantly with friends on ICQ. Posting pictures on MySpace and even trying out Netmeeting. Then it just kept growing and growing. Until today there’s a new world on the other side that has its’ own currency. I rely on it to keep track of events, documents, photos and it remembers phone numbers (when I used to be able to remember them in my head). I have acted in ways that I trust this technology.

For that reason, it’s probably why I never stopped to reflect on how it’s shaped my life. How much it’s moved my life in directions that would probably never happened in the past. The first three positions in my career were directly though LinkedIn. Technology has also allowed me to live life quickly. I wonder if it’s too quick? I wonder if it’s made things rather too easy for me that I’m feeling easily defeated while going through challenges. Maybe there is an exciting experience to be had if I just walked to the library and searched for books I needed. Maybe I would uncover something else instead of always just looking online for the only answer I have in my head.

I’m also curious on how our relationship with technology will be like in the next year or two years. How all of this growth with things like robotics, big data and artificial intelligence… How will we all continue to coexist with all this change and growth? What would trust mean between us and technology? How will it all be managed and regulated? I guess we’ll have to see :)!

Wynne

What does it mean to be tough or to feel tough? I wondered that today, as I continue onto day three of prepping for the interview, sitting in front of my computer practicing speaking out loud. I talked to my husband about all that’s happening with our life. This new part of our journey where everything is unknown but also known.

I know, that I have a family; that I’m safe and that I am supported, finally by my mom and husband. I know that I have friends here who, after seven years of being away still welcomed me with showing up and helping me through this challenge. I am immensely grateful for them. I know, that I am (knock-on-wood) feeling well and healthy and oh yes, we finally got MSP today. We are officially back to Canada with healthcare. Thank you!

I know that somehow, we’re going to be okay. I know that our family of three plus cat has been so co-operative, loving, brutally honest and sincere to each other. Something my good friend here tries to remind me of, everyday on Messenger. I need to be more grateful about this!

I can’t help but feel worried about the unknown… Don’t leave me hanging guys! I don’t know, everything. I don’t know what will happen in 2020 for the first time and I don’t know how I will make all of this work.

So, tonight I’m going to tuck myself to bed knowing that I kissed my husband and hugged my cat, which I am absolutely certain now is deaf and told my mom that I loved her. That’s something I know, for sure I can do today and am so grateful that I get to do.

Wynne

We invited a few friends over for dinner tonight for our housewarming.

My mom cooked spring rolls, a gigantic ginger beef stew, hand wrapped dumplings and salad. My husband and I went out to the local dollar store to purchase paper plates and forks; then headed to the liquor store for wines and beers. I’m feeling extremely grateful and full. I hope that the seniors in my building didn’t think we were too loud. Maybe it’s okay since I still, haven’t seen anyone in the hallways - so no worries. Where are you guys at!?

I also noticed that tonight was the first time that we actually had friends over for dinner where we actually sat down at a table ate and connected together. All ten of us had our own seats.

We didn’t have a dinner table in SF. We sat at our bar in black bar stools from Wayfair until we moved. It did the trick, but we hoped for a dinner table where our feet touched the floors after a long day’s work and a place where we can invite friends over and hang out :)

Tonight, we also played Mah-Jong! Everyone learned how to play quickly and welcomed my mom, who gave Tiger mom pointers throughout the two rounds.

I’m still, working on the interview presentation next week as well and did that today until my husband peeled me off the desk to head over to the dollar store.

It’s time for bed at 1:48am. Thank you, thank you, thank you for reconnecting.

Wynne

Preparing for interviews and practicing out-loud.

That’s what I’ve been doing the past four weeks. I am often sitting at my desk in this senior home apartment talking at the computer practicing out loud.

I know now that things were more accessible for me, as a designer when I was in a city. Interviewing and looking for jobs. I went from one job to another. I was able to go on interviews through a click on the phone and an Uber would arrive and whoosh I would arrive at the job interview. Recruiter emails arrived daily on LinkedIn (not sure how many were robots, but no worries!).

After I moved here and updated the location it’s like I moved to outer space. Barely anyone contacts me on LinkedIn. I got one person who contacted last week which is what I’m doing now, preparing for that interview. It’s confusing because I haven’t changed only my location did. Why are you hating on me LinkedIn! I’m trying to not take this personally, can you tell? But I am. Judge away!

All of this makes me feel vulnerable, discouraged, frustrated and also kind of - entitled. For that reason, I am committed to doing my very best, even though I don’t feel like it. Which is to prepare for the best interview presentation that I can possibly make; and hopefully make contact with Earth!

Through that, ironically I’m learning so much about design and feeling more connected and confident.

I’m actually really enjoying this process of learning and clarifying design, user experience, user testing and visual design. Was super pumped to learn that the practices that I’ve been applying in visual design; are actual principles: Gestalt Principles of Design. These moments make me feel more hopeful to continue this journey as a designer even though I do feel insecure about being so far away from what I’m used to.

Here’s to learning more about design :)!

Wynne