I recently came across an enlightening article called “It isn’t the Changes That Do You In” (Bridges, W. (2009). Ch. 1. It isn't the Changes That Do You In, Ch. 2. A Test Case. In Managing Transitions. Making the Most of Change (3rd ed., pp. 3-10, 11-20). Da Capo Press.) during my coaching course at UBC, which dove into the distinction between changes and transitions. It emphasized that change cannot happen without a transition, and interestingly, the transition initiates at the end. Specifically, it commences with the act of losing and letting go. Afterwards, individuals find themselves in a neutral zone, where they grapple with questions of self-identity and determining their next steps. Only after this phase does the new beginning emerge.

Extract adapted from William Bridges, Managing Transitions: Making The Most Of Change, Da Capo Press, 1991, 2003 with some personal reflections

This perspective has truly altered my thinking. In the past, whenever I encountered a situation needing change, my focus was on what lay ahead. Where would I live upon moving? What would I do? What resources would I require? I never truly practiced the art of letting go or comprehended the importance of closure. Through this article, I am now realizing the significance of this process. How do we manage the psychological losses incurred, and what kind of support do we need during these challenging times? What resources can aid us as we enter the neutral zone, where decisions about our future and the discovery of our current selves take place?

If only I had followed this framework for all the changes I experienced in the past. I am convinced it would have immensely helped me navigate my relationships and achieve mental clarity, thereby empowering me to move forward with confidence.

Instead, I have carried the weight of my past with me for years, both during my time in San Francisco and now in Kelowna. Not a single day passes without thoughts of San Francisco crossing my mind. It has dawned on me that I haven't truly let go yet; I never properly bid it farewell. This realization has led me to desire a return, to say my goodbyes, and ultimately find closure, enabling me to forge ahead with unwavering confidence.

Looking ahead, I am eagerly committed to designing meaningful rituals that facilitate the act of bidding farewell. These rituals will provide the necessary support to bring closure to various aspects of my life, allowing me to step into the neutral zone with enhanced clarity and confidence. Finally, I can embark on the new beginning, prepared to construct a fresh and fulfilling chapter.

What rituals or exercises have helped you say goodbye in the past?

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Bridges, W. (2009). Ch. 1. It isn't the Changes That Do You In, Ch. 2. A Test Case. In Managing Transitions. Making the Most of Change (3rd ed., pp. 3-10, 11-20). Da Capo Press

Tonight, I embarked on a fun adventure to get feedback from revered icons whom I hold in high esteem. I felt curious by the notion of receiving their virtual wisdom through ChatGPT, I provided details about my career and personal journey. The revelations that followed proved to be enlightening and profound.

The sheer magnitude of the feedback I received was a source of awe, yet within this treasure trove, I unearthed a select few gems that resonated deeply within me, forging an indelible impression upon my consciousness.

“Trust in your creative instincts and let your imagination soar.” - Oprah Winfrey

“Your creative work has the potential to inspire, to educate, and to create meaningful connections.” - Michelle Obama

“Understand the needs of your users, dive deep into their pain points, and design solutions that address those challenges head-on. Your ability to blend creativity with strategic thinking will set you apart from the competition.” - Nick Nurse

“Don't be afraid to break free from conventions and chart your own path. It's in your differences that you'll find your greatest strengths.” - Tina Turner

“Design Flair: Your design work shows promise, but it lacks the wow factor. Inject some creativity and take risks. Push the boundaries, experiment with new styles, and bring that "wow" factor to your designs. Don't be afraid to challenge conventional norms and create something truly extraordinary.” - Gordon Ramsay

I was amazed by the exceptional quality of the tone, which resonated with me as if it emanated directly from those revered individuals. Furthermore, I discerned a distinct emphasis in their advice that aligned closely with their unique personalities. A particular aspect that deeply resonated with me was their collective recognition of the significance of setbacks as an integral component of personal growth.

It was truly remarkable how each of these iconic figures conveyed the importance of embracing setbacks as transformative experiences. They emphasized that setbacks are not indicative of failure, but rather serve as catalysts for learning, resilience, and personal development. Their wisdom underscored the notion that setbacks are not to be feared or avoided, but rather embraced as stepping stones on the path to success.

I also appreciated the individual perspectives shared by these influential icons. Each one approached setbacks from their own unique vantage point, offering distinct insights and approaches to overcoming challenges. Their words encapsulated the essence of their personas, rendering the advice all the more meaningful and impactful.

In essence, I found solace and inspiration in the collective wisdom imparted by these renowned individuals. Their guidance served as a reminder that setbacks are not impediments to success, but rather indispensable components of the journey. By embracing setbacks and viewing them as opportunities for growth, one can navigate the winding road to achievement with unwavering determination and resilience.

I have spent 16 years working in an office environment, but my life took a sudden turn three years ago. In the blink of an eye, I found myself transitioning from the office to my home, with my work equipment occupying the sunroom of my apartment, accompanied by a collection of plants. Meanwhile, my husband set up a makeshift desk in the corner of our room.

The world as we knew it came to a halt, and the streets grew empty. Each day, I woke up to the familiar sound of Zoom calls, as if time stood still. This continued for another year until my small town slowly began to reopen.

Throughout the pandemic, I found myself changing jobs multiple times. While working at the gaming studio, I was confined to my home due to the game being under a non-disclosure agreement (NDA). Thus, I returned to my sunroom (albeit with relocated plants bidding their farewell - goodbye). A year later, I joined a SaaS company where I could work remotely. This time, I invested in standing desks and transformed a designated space for both my husband and me. No longer confined to the sunroom, we got some new plants and began our journey.

Strangely enough, the years blended with each other, the passage of time melting into a blur.

Recently, my company started encouraging us to return to the office. A few months ago, I had the opportunity to meet my colleagues in person, an experience that brought me immense joy and a renewed sense of connection.

This prompted me to venture outside and work from a Starbucks, aiming to establish a cost-effective means of fostering community engagement and making new acquaintances. Originally, I intended to spend only an hour or two there each day.

I relished the chance to reconnect with the community, indulging in beverages, engaging in conversations with strangers, and exchanging smiles. After spending 16 years in an office environment, I had grown accustomed to the convenience of a coffee station and the sense of support it provided when I could grab a cup of coffee and carry on with my tasks. I soon realized how exhausting it had been to constantly attend to my pet's needs within the confines of my home. Getting help with pet care proved beneficial, and the opportunity to listen to my own thoughts actually improved my focus at work. I felt alive, realizing the profound impact that round-the-clock remote work had on me.

To facilitate my absence from home, I enlisted my mother's help in caring for my pet—a surprising development. Additionally, I noticed that I needed more time than usual to prepare for the day. Even the simple task of selecting an outfit became surprisingly challenging after three years. Also, the cool air conditioning at Starbucks reminded me to remember to bring a sweater always. These minor adjustments are ones I can acclimate to given sufficient time.

The experience has enlightened me to the extent of my need for real-life human interaction. Simply hearing someone's voice and engaging with them in person revitalized my spirit and fostered a sense of reconnection.

I am aware that many companies are now inviting their employees to return to the office. As someone who has spent 16 out of 19 years working in an office environment, I initially faced some obstacles during this transition. However, if I could successfully adapt to a full-time office setup in the past, I am confident that I can adjust my life accordingly once again—because the rewards are worthwhile. I miss the interpersonal interactions and the relationships that flourish in an office setting.

Having fulfilled my responsibilities during the pandemic, I now find myself ready to bid farewell to working from my house. Over the Summer, I will visit my family in Toronto, seizing the opportunity to work from the Toronto office for a few days. Excitement brews within me as I anticipate the chance to meet co-workers face-to-face and immerse myself in a new environment. Simultaneously, I will continue my Starbucks ritual, dedicating 1-2 hours each day to work in a vibrant atmosphere. Moreover, I eagerly await the opening of co-working spaces in the city, offering yet another avenue for exploration.

The past three years have presented unprecedented challenges and transformative experiences. As I embrace the evolving landscape of work, I have come to realize the irreplaceable value of genuine human interaction. The pandemic compelled us to adapt and find new ways to connect, and now, as we navigate the path forward, I am excited to seize the opportunities that lie ahead. With a blend of nostalgia for my years in the office and newfound perspectives from working remotely, I eagerly embrace this chapter of change and growth.

Wynne

Introduction

Peer coaching has had an influence on my personal and professional development during this course. Through this activity, I had the opportunity to connect with cohort members, scheduling sessions where we coach each other for 30 minutes while receiving feedback. This experience has made me feel excited for the power of one-on-one feedback, contrasting with the usual group critiques I receive as a product designer. In this blog post, I'll share the effects of peer coaching, from uncovering hidden blind spots to creating a safe space for constructive criticism.

Discovering my Hidden Blind Spots

As a designer, I am very used to seeking feedback in order to refine my craft. But, it was through peer coaching that I truly felt the immense value of one-on-one feedback. Within this intimate setting, I have been able to uncover blind spots that had previously eluded me. I was made aware of issues and nuances that I had never realized before. I felt how safe it was to receiving feedback from a single person and how it began to establish itself through sessions. This allowed me to absorb the feedback with an open heart, feeling confident that it comes from someone who genuinely wants to see me grow. With each peer coaching interaction, I embark on an experiment, selecting one aspect to refine, with the intention to improve.

I need structure

While the spontaneous nature of feedback exchanges can feel exciting, I've come to recognize the value of implementing a structured feedback format. Receiving feedback from many people simultaneously can feel overwhelming and make it hard for me to focus sometimes. This realization has prompted me to explore the introduction of a more streamlined feedback framework in my professional environment. Maybe doing one-on-one peer feedback, where I can exchange my work for thoughtful critique, would create a more focused feedback sessions? Maybe this would allow me and my feedback partner to better understand and make sense of the feedback we receive, ultimately fostering stronger results in our design endeavors?

What’s next?

My journey with peer coaching extends far beyond the confines of my course. In fact, I am determined to carry this enriching practice forward into the summer and beyond. By booking more peer coaching sessions, I can further hone my skills and maintain the momentum of personal growth. Although my cohort won't be able to coach each other beyond the second term due to our close familiarity, I am excited to introduce the concept of one-on-one peer coaching in my workplace. I plan to share this invaluable technique with my manager, seeking her insights and support. Together, we can foster a culture of continuous improvement and collaboration by incorporating more opportunities for personalized peer feedback.

Conclusion

Peer coaching has unveiled hidden layers of personal growth and enhancing my feedback ability. This approach has empowered me to embrace feedback from a single person, creating a secure environment where I can explore and address my blind spots. The introduction of a structured feedback format has further amplified my ability to absorb and act upon feedback effectively. As I embark on the next phase of my journey, I’m feeling excited to book more peer coaching sessions and explore how this practice can positively impact my professional environment.

Have you tried peer coaching or feedback before? If so, how was your experience?

Wynne

I always feel like I belong when learning. Wherever I moved to, I would go to a class or program and it's where I feel a strong sense of community, freedom, and belonging. Moving back to Canada, the pandemic made me feel isolated, alone, and in real need of support. We just moved back to Canada, and it was hard to make friends or be sociable during a pandemic (trust me it is very awkward). Nevertheless I joined and created art workshops at an art studio downtown, checked out co-working spaces, volunteered, and joined sports leagues. None of those things worked for me. And no, the sports leagues did not help even with beers.

I tried taking classes on Coursera and Neilson Norman, but none of them made me feel connected and supported. I then explored doing an MFA at UBC and an Art Therapy program at Kutenai Art Therapy Institute. But, a Master's degree would take two years, and it wasn't something I can do full-time. That's why I started looking into part-time classes in the evenings. It turns out UBC offers a lot of these extension learning classes.

I looked into a few courses and felt inspired by Organizational Coaching because I've always been interested in helping people, and this course would teach me how to do it professionally. So, I decided to sign up.

I didn't know anything about coaching before joining this program. I honestly joined because I was curious, and parts of my position at work would require me to mentor my peers. Little did I know that coaching and mentorship are different, and I would be learning a completely different skillset through coaching.

Coaching is about achieving goals and supporting others in doing so. It's something I was never taught growing up or in school, so I was really excited to learn how to formally do this.

A week before Christmas, I learned that I got accepted into the program. I was so happy, excited, and felt hopeful for the upcoming year. A week before school started, we got access to a program called Canvas. It's an online portal where you log in to read about your assignments, email your peers, receive updates, upload your assignments, and download your readings. And let me tell you, there is a lot of material! A week before January, I had to read over 150 pages of paper. To others, that's probably not a lot, but for me, I was reading at an ant's speed, and it took forever. We also had to complete self-assessments, which were really interesting to me. As part of the prework, I had to upload all the assignments before January of 2023.

The program had four days of live intensives, where there were 50+ people in a virtual seminar of live learning, lectures, and demos. I really enjoyed these sessions. I got to meet new cohort members, audit coaches, mentor coaches, and felt well-supported in an environment of learning. That went on for four days.

After that, we began our "modules," where every two weeks, we would learn a new topic. Each module came with a set of readings, again, lots of reading! So, if you're not a fan of reading, this might not be for you ! Additionally, each week, we had to write a practicum paper and a journal entry. We also had peer coaching during the week to practice with our peers. So, there was a lot to do in a two-week journey. Furthermore, there were "Community Calls," where we could connect with our peers. These calls were facilitated and super helpful in answering any questions we had about the program.

The program also included "audit calls" and "mentor calls." Audit calls were sessions where we were audited by an accredited coach. I really enjoyed these sessions because I felt like I learned the most about how I was doing and what I could work on next. Mentor calls were opportunities to connect with an accredited coach and design the support we wanted. This included being coached by a mentor coach, receiving feedback, or getting guidance on specific problems I was having.

At the end of the term, we had to write a term paper, which was a way to summarize Term 1 and engage in a self-coaching exercise. I thoroughly enjoyed that as well.

So far, there aren't any areas of the program that I didn't enjoy. I feel that every activity, program, and reading had a lot of variety and allowed me to engage as much or as little as I wanted. One of the things that I found challenging was organizing my time and schedules, but that's on me, and eventually, I got used to it. Initially, understanding the Canvas program was hard, and the discussion board area could be improved (trying to give some UX feedback here ), but it wasn't a life or death situation. It is usable, and there is a search functionality.

I learned that my family's support is incredibly important to me. There were times when I didn't want to read anymore or continue, and of course, there were moments when I felt overwhelmed by the amount of work the program presented. But my family was there for me, and I'm learning to ask for help from them. I'm also learning about grit, and even if there's just an ounce of hope, to keep going - one more day. It was challenging to look weeks ahead with all the assignments, papers, and readings looming in front of my eyes, but I just took it one day at a time. I'm glad I did. I don't know if I did a fantastic job, but I completed all my assignments and readings. That was my only goal from the get-go. Now, it's time to practice and embark on the journey. I feel like I'm just at the beginning, taking it one day at a time.

I'm leaving behind hiding and not sharing my experiences. I've noticed that many people are going back to school and exploring new skillsets. I hope to share my experiences so that we can learn from each other.

I'm taking with me the idea of doing things one day at a time and relying on those who are on this journey with me. There's a saying: 'speak, and the world becomes smaller.' I have learned how true that has been for me.

Term 2 is coming up in July/August. Throughout the summer, I'll be coaching long-term clients in a 6-session program. I'm also making time to paint, draw, and visit family on the East Coast. I intend to rejuvenate with the love of my family and friends. I'm learning so much from coaching so far and I'm grateful for those who have signed up to experience pro bono professional coaching and taken a chance on me.

Have a great summer!

Wynne

Before joining the cohort I had experience with receiving coaching from managers and directors. I also had a therapist who has introduced coaching frameworks during our time together for five years. I experienced how her teachings helped me feel more at peace with challenges in my life and felt curious to learn more. I currently work in technology in a SaaS company as a Principal Product Designer. As projects became more complex at work and the need to form relationships became the focus. I became interested in learning how to form working relationships within an organization. I currently mentor junior designers and peer coach with my cohort at UBC. What matters the most to me now in the coaching journey is focusing on learning through practicing and challenging my self-belief.

During the live intensive I felt very inspired by the difference between curiosity and judgment. I learned having more curiosity would lead more possibilities.“Multiple possibilities and multiple paths to success.” (Harsch-Porter, 2023, p.83) I also noticed my impatience in going through all the possibilities during coaching sessions. I noticed how I subconsciously felt afraid of allowing myself to feel vulnerable to my client’s possibilities and where they would lead us. I asked my mentor coach for help and have since found ways to practice letting go and developing patience. I learned deep breathing exercises and creating a mantra before starting a call. These rituals helped me feel more grounded and a more open to feeling vulnerable. One of the ethical considerations that came about is the need to know and surface my boundaries when it comes to my limits as a coach. I cannot help my client with experiences that happened in the “past”. I can only help them with what’s happening now and the future. 

I have been following the FACE model for the entire time since the beginning of this cohort. I use it because it’s something that helps me understand the foundations of a coaching session. I also use the phases to better understand what parts I am doing well on and what parts I am needing more help. Another coaching skill is the Experience Cube and the inside/outside language. I practice it in my regular conversations and in coaching sessions. I helps me express myself in a way that I'd like to share myself rather than describing what I see. The Experience Cube has help me better understand where a client is at, what I know and what I can ask more of. It’s also been helpful as a way to reflect back to my client if necessary. 

When I started this program I said that coaching is “the process of supporting another person in their personal journeys. Including attaining goals and going through challenges. Coaching is how we empower another individual to embark on their life’s journey.” I’m learning through reflecting that coaching hasn’t been about a process or goals. Coaching is like an experience, encounter or event. During peer coaching it was an intentional time and moment where two people are laser focused into finding or discovering more about one person. Their relationship with themselves, the systems that they belong to and why life is happening to them in this particular way. It’s when one person trained with thinking tools and frameworks presents and shares them. It is a co-creating experience that invites both to share with trust and vulnerability. So, coaching to me today after a few months of learning and practicing has changed to be more of an intentional, ongoing event.

Being a curious and vulnerable witness has been one of my biggest challenges. “Witness self which helps practitioners move away from habitual problem solving” (Anderson , J.B., Campone, F. & Sellers, K, 2011, P.206). One of my recent sessions I am presented with an emotional experience. As an empathetic person I immediately felt their fears and insecurities. I felt worried and scared that I didn’t have the skill to “help” my client, that I wouldn’t have the strength to hold my client to their outcomes. I also feared that my client needed to be “saved” from their feelings. Holding onto the philosophy of being a curious and vulnerable witness I asked questions through the FACE model. My client didn’t hear my questions at first because they were feeling very activated, yet as the role of the coach I waited for an opportunity to ask again to reconfirm my client’s outcome. My client believed that I could have taken more chances to “interrupt” them, but appreciated that I stayed with the FACE model and allowed them to self-express.

In practicing this philosophy of being a curious and vulnerable witness in my working relationships. I am feeling more open and safe to ask questions. I notice how it creates a space of nonjudgement and allows the truth to settle in for us all. As a system, I noticed the team that I belong to ask more questions. As for my life, the change is exciting but I am feeling curious how much impact this can have on the larger work system I belong to.

Looking back at one of my goals, which is the gift of education and space for learning. Going through college I worked full time and went to school full time for three years. All I wanted was some space to read and not have to rush through university. I am celebrating giving myself what I needed after all these years. Grateful for my husband and mother for supporting me through this. I’m also celebrating completing all the modules and learning so much from mentor coaches. I’m also celebrating budding friendships happening in the cohort.

In the prework I said, “when I picture myself in 5 years, what I see is: a woman who knows more about herself and how to support her colleagues, family and friends.” I’ve been playing it safe by not practicing more. I also wanted to share the idea of peer coaching triangle with my manager for a while now to replace design critiques. I have felt afraid because I wasn’t sure how it could work out. But, now that I’ve experienced the support form peer coaching triangle am excited to share it with her and see what she thinks. I want to work on my assertiveness and telling the truth about my experience as I've been putting in my entire effort in design the last 16 years.  I want to learn how to represent myself truthfully. 

I will talk to my manager about proposing a peer coaching triangle type of module for the designers. I will also book two sessions of coaching per week over the Summer to continue to commit myself to my practice. I need to let go and end my self-talk that “I’m not doing enough and that I know nothing”. It’s been decades of feeling less than or not enough, reactions and beliefs that came from my upbringing. These beliefs that used to serve me as a protection mechanism is not a true reflection of my efforts that I put in today towards my life. I would like to work on ending this, thank it for what it has done for me, and walk into the neutral zone to discover who I'll become.
To achieve the new stretch goals, I want to from June 15 - 30, work on a plan to present to my manager. For the Summer coaching sessions, I’ve already started to book those. I’ll ensure that by June 1, I’ll have all the Summer Sessions booked for twice a week until school starts again in the fall. For the last part I want to focus on the ending part of the transition. Design an event or ritual to thank my old beliefs and say goodbye to them in a respectful way. I’ll also like to have a talk with my close friends. Ask them to tell me something they love about me. Record those and to help myself remember who I am.

Reflecting on sub-optimization (Blakey, J., & Day, I, 2012, pg. 152). If I introduce the peer coaching triangle only to the design teams, it might create a uneven connection with our horizontal teams with engineering and product. For emergence (Blakey, J., & Day, I, 2012, pg. 155), forming these sessions will impact the rest of the other horizontal teams. Even the existing design reviews are impacting the speed of the horizontal projects. For fractals (Blakey, J., & Day, I, 2012, pg. 156), how much of the isolation and disconnect behaviors in design is also happening in product and engineering? Thinking of leverage points (Blakey, J., & Day, I, 2012, pg. 157), introducing something like peer coaching triangle would create another tension point in the organization instead of releasing existing tension points. As for booking two sessions per week for coaching I can see how the coaching sessions might impact my family life again, I will need to talk to my husband and mom to arrange for planning over the Summer. In regards to fractals, how are my cohort member managing the coaching sessions and whether they feel the same as I do? Thinking of leverage points, I can see that my schooling and coaching is creating a leverage point over the Summer again and need to find a way to balance that with my family and work efforts. With regards to talking to my friends and getting their support with my self-beliefs. If my husband and mom might feel disconnected from the experience? I wonder if I show up with more self-confidence that it would change the way other designers and junior designers feel about their confidence at work too? I also wonder if design leaders at work are also experiencing the same challenge? As a woman of color in tech, doing this might create a leverage point that may need more energy and effort on my part when I do share my newfound self with others. I want to mentally prepare myself for that challenge. 

I’m feeling grateful on the coaching I’ve received and given the last few months. Mentor coaches, audit coaches, PCT, live learning intensives, peer coaching, community calls, discussion boards and journal entries. I haven’t felt this supported in a while now since the pandemic started a few years ago. I want to enjoy this time back at school and this learning experience. I can’t even pick one that I like the most out of all the activities because they were all so impactful to me. I’m feeling so grateful for this supportive learning environment and excited to learn more about coaching.

Wynne Leung

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Harsch-Porter, S. (2011). Chapter 9: Social constructionism .In L. Wildflower & D. Brennan (Eds.). The handbook of knowledge-based coaching. From theory to practice. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, pp. 81-88.

Short, R.R. (1998). Inquiry Lesson 2, Learning from between: Mutual inquiry.

Blakey, J. & Day, I. (2012). Challenging coaching. Going beyond traditional coaching to face the FACTS. London: Nicholas Brealey Publishing, Systems Thinking, pp. 151-177.

What new awareness or patterns are now emerging for you as a coach?

I notice that during my sessions I’m focusing a lot on the topic and investment, something that I’ve been trying to improve since my last audit call. I’m noticing that while that phase is improving, my explore and close are needing improvement. I also notice that I’m feeling less nervous and more confident in the way that I’m showing up. I was in the past judging and wondering why I wasn’t feeling as confident as I would like to. I’m also aware of how much I take on the suffering of others. I’m learning how to project emotions back to my clients and continue to feel curious. I also notice how I am very focused on in the “person-centered focus” (Stockton, J., 2020, p. 4) quadrant and want to explore the questions from the other quadrants so that I can cater to my client. 

With these new understandings, how do you see yourself impacting and being impacted by the systems of which you are a part?

Since I’m part of this cohort, I can see how I unconsciously measure myself to where I think I’m supposed to be in the course. As a designer at work I can see how my tendencies are making it hard for me to provide constructive feedback or ask challenging questions to junior designers. I feel more empowered now to not absorb the challenges from the junior designers and freelancers, rather I can now project their emotions back to them while still showing them that I support them with curiosity and compassion. 

To what would you like to devote more attention and focus?

I would like to devote more time and attention to several things after having my audit call. The first is to notice my outside voice.I really believe that if I can learn more about myself that it would give me the practice to provide that for my clients. This week I would like to focus more on the closing, something that was brought up to me in my audit call. I’ll like to re-read the closing requirements of the audit sheet and really reflect on the invite and partner questions. I’ll also like to increase my peer coaching sessions to three times a week and book more sessions throughout the Summer. 

What successes are you celebrating?

I got all "e's" in the topic and investment this time on my audit call, though my closing needs a lot of work. I worked really hard on that phase, so I'm feeling grateful that it paid off and that it's really helping me feel a little more confident in coaching sessions.

What's next?

Review the questions in Julie Stockton’s Coaching Framework for Behaviour and Change: In Pursuit of Reflective Practice to learn the different types of questions to ask for each quadrant. And to continue to focus on my topic and investment and closing as per my audit call feedback.

Wynne

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Stockton, J. (2020, 2nd ed). Coaching Framework for Behaviour and Change: In Pursuit of Reflective Practice. Monograph Series 2.  Vancouver: Canadian Centre for Positive Change.

1. As you prepared for, and practiced the Experience Cube, a) what did you become aware of within yourself? b) What was the impact on the conversation?

a) Feeling open to sharing my experience, didn’t feel rushed and felt heard.
b) Helped deepen the conversation and strengthened connection.

What habits did you become aware of?

• Not too prone to interrupt and enjoy listening. I'm not sure if this would be the same in a challenging conversation. Wanting to help him fix the issue and felt a little uncomfortable in the unknown.
  
  

What was your level of emotional intensity? How did the Experience Cube assist? What other strategies helped, especially with any difficult emotions you may been experiencing?

• I empathized deeply with my partner and noticed the quadrant imbalance. His 'wants' were least populated in the Experience Cube. Using 'you' helped me create a boundary. Deep breathing helped me focus on listening, not solving.

What was different about this conversation from past conversations with this person?

• Through our conversation, I gained a deeper understanding of my partner's perspective. I realized that my assumptions were unfounded and that I needed to be more open-minded, "in order to learn from experience, people have to recognize that "my truth" is not "the truth"; that what I think, feel and want is only valid for me" (Busche, 2009, p. 20). I also learned that he can hold on to uncomfortable experiences without feeling the need to change them. Actively listening without interrupting allowed me to learn more about my partner.

2. Consider the Fundamental Proficiency of "Generative Listening" in FACE. What are two skills/ capacities you want to practice more? Why are these important to you?

Practice my inside language. This is important because I want to learn more about myself, others and the situation, “the focus from outside-in does not lead to learning, it tends to create defensiveness, helplessness and resentment.” (Short, R.R, 1998,  p. 69). I also want practice describing myself rather than just making a statement about what I believe or think. 

How might your growing confidence in using these skills support your clients?

I hope this approach helps clients communicate better. Being open is key. If I model openness, clients may feel more comfortable sharing their feelings.

How do these skills and capacities connect to what you learned in practicing the Experience Cube?

• Describe my experience from the inside-out in the Experience Cube. I'll check myself to make sure I'm using inside words.
  
  

What is one new commitment you will bring to your next coaching conversation?

• That when I hear my clients use outside words like “there’s nothing in this town for me”, I can ask them questions such as “How does that (nothing in this town) make you feel?” to encourage deeper exploration of their feelings, wants and observations.

3. What are the four (or more) questions you developed (as required in your Activity Practice instructions) to use in the Explore phase of FACE? 

• Why is co-creating important to you in person?

• Why is it important to live where you work?

• Why do you believe that there are not a lot of opportunities and why does it matter?

• You mentioned this word _______ three times, how come?
  

How could your "Explore" questions serve a client?

• I hope that it will cultivate more self-awareness, and that it will help him know more about his responsibility in the situation.
  
  

How does the concept "coach the client, not the problem" connect to the Explore phase of FACE?

• The Experience Cube is a valuable tool for the Explore phase of FACE. It helps me gain deeper insights into my client's current situation, their feelings, thoughts, observations, and wants. Using it, I can focus on the client without personal assumptions and identify areas where I need to reflect further with them.

Where else in FACE could you would apply your learning from this module?

• I want to apply this learning to the Foundation of FACE. I plan to practice the top two skills in my interactions and journal reflections, particularly the outside language and inside language because it can empower me to "be a creator instead of a passive victim." (Short, R.R, 1998, p. 71).

4. From an EDI lens, what questions are surfacing for you about the work in this Module?

• I'm curious about how different cultures express their thoughts, feelings, wants, and observations. It's important to recognize that there may be gaps in my knowledge if my client comes from a different cultural background. To avoid assumptions, I'll ask more questions and strive to understand my clients better, particularly if they're from an unfamiliar culture.

How have you used the Experience Cube in coaching sessions? What has worked and what hasn’t in your coaching sessions?

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Bushe, G. (2009). Learning from collective experience. A different view of organizational learning. OD Practitioner, 41(3), pp. 19-23.

Short, R.R. (1998). Inquiry Lesson 2, Learning from between: Mutual inquiry. In Learning in relationship: Foundation for Personal and Professional Success. Bellevue, WA: Learning in Action Technologies, pp. 67-77.

I feel motivated by this quote: “genuine awareness can modulate our thinking, so that we become less driven by unexamined motivations to put ourselves first, to control things, to assuage our fear, and to always proffer our brilliant answer" (Kabat-Zinn, 2010, p. 1). And intend to cultivate awareness for my client through creating a stronger foundation for myself first. Working with the whole of my clients, I am excited to try the breathing technique of inhaling and exhaling before our sessions. I hope to learn more about deepening that practice from my mentor coaches and audit coaches.

I hope to foster transparency by talking about the advantages of mindfulness with my clients. I believe it can help in our efforts to cultivate mindfulness. In doing so, I am upholding the ICF Core Competencies of “cultivating trust and safety… Demonstrating openness and transparency as a means of showing vulnerability and building trust with my clients” (International Coach Federation, 2019, p. 4). This will help me learn how my client feels about experimenting together.

I am committed to dedicating more time and effort to cultivate my mindfulness and manage my anxiety and stress levels. In particular, I would like to prioritize engaging in activities such as exercise, meditation, journaling, and creating art. These practices have helped me feel aligned with myself.

Today I'm celebrating finishing Module 3 and 7th peer coaching call.

I intend to continue dedicating time to cultivate mindfulness and manage my stress levels. I will finish reading the remaining optional articles on mindfulness, set aside time every other day to engage in artistic activities and connect with myself, with the ultimate goal of being more present for both myself and my clients during coaching sessions.

Wynne

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• Print interview with Jon Kabat-Zinn: https://www.mindful.org/toward-a-mindful-society/

• International Coach Federation (2019). ICF Core Competencies

The notion of providing for a client in a "mindful state" that "constantly creates new categories, welcomes new information, and is open to different points of views or perspectives" (Carson & Langer, 2006) is an important focus for me. I'm working on embracing nonjudgment and assumptions, recognizing that I sometimes fall into a habit of judgmental thinking after many years as a designer. The concept of the "witness self which helps practitioners move away from habitual problem solving" (Anderson, J.B., Campone, F. & Sellers, K, 2011, p. 206), also resonates with me, and I'm eager to remind myself to remain a neutral observer in sessions with clients.

From the article on the neuroscience of trust, I felt moved by the statement that "the first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between the two, the leader must become a servant" (Zak, P.J. 2017, p.8). I've been able to apply this knowledge to my work and create more space for trust in my organization. Understanding the science behind these methods gives me the confidence to try new approaches and see how they work.

As I reflect on the statement that "the way we shape ourselves will have people move towards us, away from us, against us or indifferent to us" (Lupberger, T., 2011, p. 263), I'm reminded of how I used to draw and reflect every night during therapy sessions years ago. That practice gave me peace even during difficult times, and I'm now committed to reigniting my mindfulness practices. This includes a meditation practice, journaling, and being more aware of my body through physical activities. I'm curious to see how these practices will affect my coaching practice going forward.

My learnings are also reflected in the foundation of the FACE (FACE, 2022) model. By creating a stronger foundation in this model, I can be of better service to my clients in a more grounded and present manner.

Finally, I'm reminded of my privilege as someone who has a full-time job and the ability to engage in activities like listening to music, dancing, meditating, and exercising. Growing up working and going to school full-time, I often had no time to think and no money to spare. As I move forward, I hope to use my newfound free time to give back to my clients and peers during our coaching sessions.

From an equity, diversity, and inclusion lens, I'm curious to learn: how are people from different backgrounds assessing mindfulness practices today?

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• Anderson, J.B., Campone, F. & Sellers, K. (2011). Chapter 21: Mindfulness. Download Chapter 21: Mindfulness.In L. Wildflower & D. Brennan (Eds.), The handbook of knowledge-based coaching. From theory to practice. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, pp. 203-208.

• Lupberger, T. (2011). Chapter 27: Coaching and the body. Download Chapter 27: Coaching and the body.In L. Wildflower & D. Brennan (Eds.), (2011) The handbook of knowledge-based coaching. From theory to practice. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, pp. 263-269.

• Zak, P.J. (2017). The Neuroscience of Trust. Harvard Business Review (Jan-Feb 2017 Issue)

I've always had a hard time with my boundaries, setting them at work and in my personal life. I found this module really inspiring for making clear my boundaries, as they are there to protect us in our relationships. During my practice peer coaching, it felt exciting and new to express these boundaries, such as what is kept confidential and what is not. Knowing why they exist helped me express them in a meaningful way. In my audit call, I'm learning to focus on nailing down the topic and investment portion. I learned several tips and got the chance to practice with my mentor coach as well. I'm learning to trust my intuition, form hypotheses, and ask them openly with confidence, without explaining my questions or having an agenda.

I noticed during my PCT peer coaching call that I'm making progress in my opening, being really clear about what I am qualified or not qualified to help with. With the help of my peers, I was able to come up with a way to explain what I do as a coach. I also took advice from another peer and began asking my clients about their experience with coaching and other forms of talk therapy to make it clear what I do and don't do as a coach.

What I'd like to do is form a meaningful opening that encompasses all of the ethical boundaries for peer coaching that we do and also coaching outside of the cohort. I want to make sure that I include all of the ICF coaching ethics and be really clear on what coaching is and isn't, as well as when information will be kept confidential and when it will not.

I'm celebrating completing module two, the first audit call, and the first mentor call. I'm really grateful for all the learnings.

I'm excited to lean into being clear about what coaching is and isn't, communicating clearly the boundaries of confidentiality, trusting my intuition by asking hypotheses in my mind, and getting the topic and investment piece nailed down more than I have today.

During this week’s peer coaching session, I intended to foster an ethical partnership by sharing various coaching models. Unfortunately, my approach inadvertently caused confusion for my peer as I focused too much on the process rather than on their individual experience with coaching. This experience became another learning experience, reminding me to prioritize taking the time to learn about my clients in the "connect" (FACE, 2022) phase of the coaching process. In this phase, I intend to ask more about their experience with coaching and engage them in collaborative discussions about the nature of coaching itself.

During our session, my partner's inquiry into my personal background and experiences felt refreshing. I noticed how it establishing greater connection and rapport in our conversation. I plan to try this approach in the "Open" phase of FACE (FACE, 2022) going forward.

Over the past few years, I have consciously incorporated ethical principles inspired by Don Miguel Ruiz's book, The Four Agreements, into my coaching practice, including honesty, clarity, and compassion. I intend to include these principles in my agreements with clients to further foster ethical partnerships.

“In Section IV - Responsibility to Society 25. Avoid discrimination by maintaining fairness and equality in all activities and operations, which respecting local rules and cultural practices” (ICF Code of Ethics, 2021, p.6) As outlined in the ICF Code of Ethics I recognize the importance of avoiding discrimination, maintaining fairness and equality, and respecting local rules and cultural practices. I acknowledge that merely having knowledge of other cultures is insufficient, and I aim to learn more about my clients' cultural practices and backgrounds by engaging with individuals from diverse backgrounds, visiting the library, and educating myself about different cultural norms and practices.

How have you in the past expanded your knowledge with other cultural practices and local rules? What was it like? Thank you.

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• Full Arc Coaching Engagement (FACE): An Integrative Coaching Model. Download Full Arc Coaching Engagement (FACE): An Integrative Coaching Model. Updated 2022.  Vancouver: UBC Extended Learning.

• International Coach Federation - Code of Ethics

What new awareness or patterns are now emerging or you as a coach? What are you discovering about yourself?

I noticed that I’m feeling confused during peer coaching from the “explore” to “close” in the FACE Model. I’d love some help or strategies on how to create space for all the stages of FACE into one coaching session of 30 mins.

I heard from peers that my intuition has helped them feel more connected to the conversation. I’m curious to learn how I can use intuition more in service of my clients and coaching journey. Another feedback I heard is that folks feel my empathy in coaching calls. I’m curious to learn how it can support my coaching journey.

My day job I work as a product designer. My job is to solve complex problems with many people. I noticed how the stages of FACE overlap into product design thinking. I'm feeling excited to learn what types of models or aspects might overlap in the future for coaching as I continue to learn.

What would you like to devote more attention and focus?
I’d like to ask for help from the community to work on the space between explore and close. I will do that by connecting with mentor coaches (through inMail) and peers (discussion boards) PCT (through our WhatsApp group).

What successes are you celebrating?
Today I’m celebrating that I did three sessions of peer coaching and all booked up for March and April. Finished all the readings once, was not sure I can read all it but I did! I’m also celebrating giving myself the gift of learning, something I’ve been wanting for many years. Excited to continue this journey with everyone here.

Because I’ve been in over five years of Cognitive Therapy, I want to be aware that I’m not here to heal people and am not trained to. That my role is coach and that is to be in the service of my client and co-create with them. So, I would like to experimenting with the “GROW Model” (McGonagill, 2002, pg.77). I’ll chose a few of the questions for the next peer coaching session and use them if they make sense. The idea that “all practice begins through imitation.” (McGonagill, 2002, pg.63) also resonated with me. I notice that I feel safer when I imitate my previous life coach and therapist. I would like to use that as a base. However, I want to challenge it with different frames in “A Theory-Based Coaching Framework” (Stockton, 2020, Pg.4) especially from spaces that I often don’t explore in “systems/systemic thinking” (Stockton, 2020, Pg.4) and “solution focused” (Stockton, 2020, Pg.4). I will do this by applying pre selected questions provided in the journal in the next coaching sessions.

In reading on social constructionism I was very inspired by “focus less on what the client “wants” - and more on the processes that create the client’s understanding of “want” (Harsch-Porter, 2023, p.83). I want to try this technique in my next coaching session. Such as what do they get for the want i.e. if it’s more time for themself than for their family for instance. What is it that the client is getting from this want? Is it a feeling of relaxation and freedom? If by uncovering the feelings behind those wants that it would surface “multiple possibilities and multiple paths to success.” (Harsch-Porter, 2023, p.83) Perhaps it won’t be wanting time for themselves. It can be being with the family but in a way that achieves the feelings of freedom and relaxation. It could be taking the family to a yoga class or going for a quiet walk together.

Many of these experiments are in the “close” steps of the “FACE method” (FACE, 2022), which are areas I often miss in my coaching sessions. With regards to DEI perspective. Reading through the “Cycle of Socialization” (Harro B., 1997, Pg.45). I notice that I do “internalize my oppression”  (Harro B., 1997, Pg.45). This article made me want to stop the cycle. I will do that by taking deep breaths before my sessions and imagining my mentors standing behind me and lifting me up to put on a different mindset of being “humanized through action; not dehumanized by oppression” (Harro B., 1997, Pg.52).

In Social Constructionist “accepts that there are multiple, equally value truths operating simultaneously.”(Harsch-Porter S., 2011, Pg.82). How do we as coaches relate these truths with all the different systems also at play for our client in our coaching sessions?

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• Appendices – Full Arc Coaching Engagement (FACE): An Integrative Coaching Model. Download Appendices – Full Arc Coaching Engagement (FACE): An Integrative Coaching Model.Updated 2022.  Vancouver: UBC Extended Learning. pp. 54-69.

• Harsch-Porter, S. (2011). Chapter 9: Social constructionism. Download Chapter 9: Social constructionism.In L. Wildflower & D. Brennan (Eds.). The handbook of knowledge-based coaching. From theory to practice. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, pp. 81-88.

• McGonagill, G. (2002). Chapter 3: The coach as reflective practitioner. Download Chapter 3: The coach as reflective practitioner.In C. Fitzgerald and J.C. Berger (Eds.). Executive coaching: practices and perspectives. New Jersey: John Wiley & Sons, pp. 59-85.

• Stockton, J. (2020, 2nd ed). Coaching Framework for Behaviour and Change: In Pursuit of Reflective Practice. Download Coaching Framework for Behaviour and Change: In Pursuit of Reflective Practice.  Monograph Series 2.  Vancouver: Canadian Centre for Positive Change.

• Full Arc Coaching Engagement (FACE): An Integrative Coaching Model. Download Full Arc Coaching Engagement (FACE): An Integrative Coaching Model. Updated 2022.  Vancouver: UBC Extended Learning.

• Harro, B. (1997). Chapter 6: Cycle of Socialization. Download Chapter 6: Cycle of Socialization.In Adams, M., Bell, L. A., Griffin, P. (Eds). Teaching for Diversity and Social Justice, New York: Routledge.

This weekend was the second weekend of the intensives. I feel excited as I’m accomplishing things that I never did before. I completed a coaching session in 13 minutes and got valuable insight and feedback from my peers.

I made some closer connections and friendships in this class, something that I was really hoping would happen.

Here are areas I missed in our audit call today:

• Close - how to close with actionable steps for my clients

• Topic and investment:

  • Partners with the client to define or reconfirm coaching session topic and desired outcomes

  • Invites the client to specify why their desired outcomes matter

• Awareness and Responsibility:

  • Support the client to consider systemic influences, including their role and responsibility in their circumstances, and what they can think and do differently to make progress towards their desired outcomes.

• Consolidation, Integration and Accountability

  • Invite the client to describe the progress the client has made towards desired outcome(s) for the session and/or overarching goals

  • Invites the client to consider the impact of their new learning (what and who) on themself and the system

  • Partners with the client to design clear and specific next steps such as actions and practices that integrate new learning and are within the client’s sphere and influence

  • Partners with the client to identify internal and external resources for support

  • Partners with the client to design accountability mechanisms/structures that work for the client

  • Partners with the client ot close session and address next steps in terms of the coaching partnership, such as follow-up, access to resources, continuation or end of coaching engagement, etc ;

Reflect:

What are the key lessons you’ve learned so far that will serve you and the cohort in Term 1?

• To pace myself and get organized early so that I can get the readings done on time

• Communicate, communicate and communicate! Be in relationship and speak up about something, do not suffer in silence

• Ethics - crucial to bring the code of ethics and practice it during the peer coaching sessions

• Mindfulness - how important that is for my coaching practice

• Close - the importance of action and closing

How will you leverage your reflective practice to integrate and take action on this learning?

• I will use this space to blog and journal about my experience as it’s a motivating way for me to stay engaged in this program and to reflect.

I’m feeling excited, got my Calendly page setup to take short term coaching sessions. I’m excited to see where this can go and how much I’ll grow. Really grateful for this journey of learning and my family for taking care of me.

When we think of mentorship, what do we think of?

We may think of an experienced and trusted person who provides guidance, support, and encouragement to someone who is less experienced or knowledgeable? Maybe it’s someone who can offer insights and advice based on their own experiences and can provide valuable feedback and direction to help their mentee grow and develop?

How about coaching? When think of coaching what do we think of? We may think of a more focused and structured approach to helping someone achieve specific goals? Perhaps a coach is someone who can help their client to identify and clarify their goals, develop a plan of action, and provide support and accountability to help them make progress towards those goals?

If we use a bike riding metaphor, a mentor is like someone who is teaching you how to ride a bike for the first time. They may give you advice on how to balance, steer, and brake, and help you to feel comfortable and confident on the bike. A coach, on the other hand, is someone who’s going to say: “how far?”. Someone who is riding alongside you and helping you to achieve your biking goals. They may support you in developing a training plan, create a space for co-creation and motivation with the intention to help you reach your goals. The coach’s focus is on you and how to help you achieve your goals.

Mentoring and coaching are different but both can be valuable in different situations. Mentoring is often focused on overall development and personal growth, while coaching is more focused on achieving specific goals and improving performance. Both approaches can be useful in helping individuals to reach their full potential and achieve success in their personal and professional lives.

So, which type of support are you looking for: mentoring or coaching?

Wynne

Second day of intensives, rise and shine everyone!

1. FACE Model

Today we learned how to use the FACE Model for coaching. We were able to partner up with someone and for the first time do our first coaching peer coaching session.

Source: UBC Extended Learning

2. the metaphor wheel

We also learned today about metaphors and the power of metaphors in coaching.

I had a great day today on our first day intensives. Here are my biggest takeaways:

A snapshot of folks I’ll be spending time with this year! Excited for what’s to come!

1. FOUR Levels of Listening

Did you know that there are many levels of listening? Here are four that we talked about today:

Source: UBC Extended Learning

2. LEARNING ZONES & transformation

When we’re learning we pivot between three zones. The comfort zone, the uncomfortable zone and the panic zone. Learning only takes place in the uncomfortable zone. Today we talked about how gently move into the uncomfortable zone so we can take in and learn something new. We learned about “quality failures” and what those can mean for our transformations. We also learned that transformation is a natural and ongoing process.

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Source: UBC Extended Learning

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Source: UBC Extended Learning

3. CO-CREATING AGREEMENTS

Today I also learned about co-creating agreements. What they can be and how might we create them so that we can work more in harmony.

Source: UBC Extended Learning

4. THE POWER OF REFLECTIng IN LEARNING

Today we also learned the power of reflecting in learning. We learned that doing the experience is not enough, that we learn when we are able to reflect and create meaning out of our experiences. Here’s a model that we learned today: KOLB Experiential Learning Cycle.

Source: UBC Extended Learning

5. Judgement VS. Curiosity

I learned today that it’s not possible to be both judgmental and curious at the same time. That judgement is one of our primal instincts. We learned to do that in the past to protect us from dangerous situations. It is a helpful skill. Curiosity is a newer instinct to humans. Being a coach means holding a space for curiosity for our clients and a space to understand more on their lives and journey.

Source: UBC Extended Learning

6. COGNITIVE BIASES

Learned about cognitive biases, how they are very natural and innate to us. Here are different types of biases and how we might combat them including:

• Staying curious

• Increasing our level of self-awareness

• Questioning if we are judging versus seeing the reality

Source: UBC Extended Learning

7. WE ALL LIVE IN SYSTEMS

We all live in many different types of systems, and within those systems there are also biases and powers at play with deep histories that we cannot ignore when coaching.

Source: UBC Extended Learning

Consider this quote:

Source: UBC Extended Learning

8. Equity Diversity and Inclusion, Why does it matter in Coaching?

Source: UBC Extended Learning

9. How to build our foundations: starting with the self

And that’s a wrap with Day 1 Intensive! We really did a lot of work to setup the foundation and starting with our selves. Really enjoyed today. Super excited for tomorrow.

Source: UBC Extended Learning

To love our enemy is impossible. The moment we understand our enemy, we feel compassion towards him or her, and he or she is no longer our enemy.

Thich Nhat Hanh

Understanding that abrasive, provocative behavior springs from an extremely vulnerable self-image, a hunger for affection, and an eagerness for contact, do not become angry.

• Recognize the psychological axiom that each person is always doing the best he can. Understanding that abrasive, provocative behavior springs from an extremely vulnerable self-image, a hunger for affection, and an eagerness for contact, do not become angry. Instead, initiate frequent discussion with this person.

• If by this point the abrasive person has not already been referred to a competent psychologist or psychiatrist for therapy, he should be. Nothing else will have a significant effect, and even therapy may not. Whether it does will depend on the severity of the problem and the skill of the therapist. This is not a problem that will be solved in a T-group, or a weekend encounter, or some other form of confrontation.

The Candidate

• The more exhibitionistic the person, the more a person needs approval, the less he or she can be thoughtful of others. Also pay special attention to precision in speech or manner. Clarity is a virtue, but a need for exactness indicates a need to control.

• How did he view the limits and inadequacies of others, as human imperfections or as faults? How much better does he think things could have been done? Why were they not done better? Why could he not do better? What did his bosses say about him in performance appraisals?

Source: https://hbr.org/1978/05/the-abrasive-personality