What is our relationship with technology? When was the first time, we used technology in our life?

I first used it when I was seven or eight. We had Nintendo and I remember feeling so much joy playing Tetris and Mario with my cousins - it didn’t matter that it only had nine levels. I can’t remember any interactions with technology before that. We went outside a lot. Then came Encarta and feeling so excited to search in an encyclopedia on my desktop computer. I loved watching the videos.

And it continued with getting access to the internet. Chatting constantly with friends on ICQ. Posting pictures on MySpace and even trying out Netmeeting. Then it just kept growing and growing. Until today there’s a new world on the other side that has its’ own currency. I rely on it to keep track of events, documents, photos and it remembers phone numbers (when I used to be able to remember them in my head). I have acted in ways that I trust this technology.

For that reason, it’s probably why I never stopped to reflect on how it’s shaped my life. How much it’s moved my life in directions that would probably never happened in the past. The first three positions in my career were directly though LinkedIn. Technology has also allowed me to live life quickly. I wonder if it’s too quick? I wonder if it’s made things rather too easy for me that I’m feeling easily defeated while going through challenges. Maybe there is an exciting experience to be had if I just walked to the library and searched for books I needed. Maybe I would uncover something else instead of always just looking online for the only answer I have in my head.

I’m also curious on how our relationship with technology will be like in the next year or two years. How all of this growth with things like robotics, big data and artificial intelligence… How will we all continue to coexist with all this change and growth? What would trust mean between us and technology? How will it all be managed and regulated? I guess we’ll have to see :)!

Wynne

I’ve been taking a class on Coursera called, Digital Transformation. It’s a four week course on how to help companies continue to thrive and compete through digital transformation and disruption; which I learned is not new as per the examples given for Blockbuster, Kodak and Borders.

I’m really enjoying this course and feel excited to use the strategies suggested in my design practice and perhaps understand and learn more about what’s going on in our world today and why sometimes it feels like it’s going a thousand miles an hour.

Here are a few ways for companies to have more of a competitive edge:

1. Strengthen intellectual property with things such as patents

2. Consider complimentary assets and skills

3. Consider your customer’s loyalty and branding to your services

4. Imitation - how easy is it for someone else to imitate you?

5. Diffusion - maybe creating an idea that is really fun and copied by all then fizzes out; also isn’t such a bad idea

6. Be the second mover - maybe you aren’t the first mover like Amazon did with books; but maybe you can be the second mover like Lyft and take a dominant space in the marketplace

I applied my design career to the Competitive Cycle the instructor made and this is what I learned:

I learned that we can speculate that I have seven more years in the mature phase; and then I will go back to the disrupt phase. It feels both exciting and reassuring. I’m excited for what’s to come. Next week we’ll be learning about how artificial intelligence, big data and robotics will “shake up” this digital transformation.

On the other hand, not so logically… How this cycle just like seasons is natural and necessary. It is necessary for something to die in the Winter so that new can grow in the Spring. The idea of renewal is so natural. Here is where I’m at all the time. Sitting between art and logic. Somehow really needing to measure all the time, but on the other hand and heart knowing that there is a beauty in the natural ways that things will happen on its’ own, when it’s ready.

Wynne

What does it mean to be tough or to feel tough? I wondered that today, as I continue onto day three of prepping for the interview, sitting in front of my computer practicing speaking out loud. I talked to my husband about all that’s happening with our life. This new part of our journey where everything is unknown but also known.

I know, that I have a family; that I’m safe and that I am supported, finally by my mom and husband. I know that I have friends here who, after seven years of being away still welcomed me with showing up and helping me through this challenge. I am immensely grateful for them. I know, that I am (knock-on-wood) feeling well and healthy and oh yes, we finally got MSP today. We are officially back to Canada with healthcare. Thank you!

I know that somehow, we’re going to be okay. I know that our family of three plus cat has been so co-operative, loving, brutally honest and sincere to each other. Something my good friend here tries to remind me of, everyday on Messenger. I need to be more grateful about this!

I can’t help but feel worried about the unknown… Don’t leave me hanging guys! I don’t know, everything. I don’t know what will happen in 2020 for the first time and I don’t know how I will make all of this work.

So, tonight I’m going to tuck myself to bed knowing that I kissed my husband and hugged my cat, which I am absolutely certain now is deaf and told my mom that I loved her. That’s something I know, for sure I can do today and am so grateful that I get to do.

Wynne

We invited a few friends over for dinner tonight for our housewarming.

My mom cooked spring rolls, a gigantic ginger beef stew, hand wrapped dumplings and salad. My husband and I went out to the local dollar store to purchase paper plates and forks; then headed to the liquor store for wines and beers. I’m feeling extremely grateful and full. I hope that the seniors in my building didn’t think we were too loud. Maybe it’s okay since I still, haven’t seen anyone in the hallways - so no worries. Where are you guys at!?

I also noticed that tonight was the first time that we actually had friends over for dinner where we actually sat down at a table ate and connected together. All ten of us had our own seats.

We didn’t have a dinner table in SF. We sat at our bar in black bar stools from Wayfair until we moved. It did the trick, but we hoped for a dinner table where our feet touched the floors after a long day’s work and a place where we can invite friends over and hang out :)

Tonight, we also played Mah-Jong! Everyone learned how to play quickly and welcomed my mom, who gave Tiger mom pointers throughout the two rounds.

I’m still, working on the interview presentation next week as well and did that today until my husband peeled me off the desk to head over to the dollar store.

It’s time for bed at 1:48am. Thank you, thank you, thank you for reconnecting.

Wynne

Preparing for interviews and practicing out-loud.

That’s what I’ve been doing the past four weeks. I am often sitting at my desk in this senior home apartment talking at the computer practicing out loud.

I know now that things were more accessible for me, as a designer when I was in a city. Interviewing and looking for jobs. I went from one job to another. I was able to go on interviews through a click on the phone and an Uber would arrive and whoosh I would arrive at the job interview. Recruiter emails arrived daily on LinkedIn (not sure how many were robots, but no worries!).

After I moved here and updated the location it’s like I moved to outer space. Barely anyone contacts me on LinkedIn. I got one person who contacted last week which is what I’m doing now, preparing for that interview. It’s confusing because I haven’t changed only my location did. Why are you hating on me LinkedIn! I’m trying to not take this personally, can you tell? But I am. Judge away!

All of this makes me feel vulnerable, discouraged, frustrated and also kind of - entitled. For that reason, I am committed to doing my very best, even though I don’t feel like it. Which is to prepare for the best interview presentation that I can possibly make; and hopefully make contact with Earth!

Through that, ironically I’m learning so much about design and feeling more connected and confident.

I’m actually really enjoying this process of learning and clarifying design, user experience, user testing and visual design. Was super pumped to learn that the practices that I’ve been applying in visual design; are actual principles: Gestalt Principles of Design. These moments make me feel more hopeful to continue this journey as a designer even though I do feel insecure about being so far away from what I’m used to.

Here’s to learning more about design :)!

Wynne

After moving back to Kelowna I am very much missing my friends in SF. My husband and I both work from home; which in so many ways is starting to drive me crazy. We need to find a way to get out of the house and be with other people. Today, we sold something on Marketplace and I was a bit too excited to see the woman coming to pick up my skates from 2014. I think that working from Starbucks will have to be a real thing very soon. Our apartment building is mostly inhabited by seniors. There is a “senior’s luncheon” happening next Thursday; which I’m curious if I can attend not being a senior. Maybe I can make some friends that way.

Some things that are keeping me busy these days is reading and taking courses on Coursera.

I’m currently reading:
1) “Living and Sustaining a Creative Life” by Sharon Louden. Which has made me feel more connected to other artists. Thank you to my teacher Mel Prest for gifting it to me before coming back to Canada.
2) Love & Courage: My Story of Family, Resilience, and Overcoming the Unexpected by Jagmeet Singh. If you’re looking to read a real life hero’s book and need hope and courage. I loved every minute of that book. He made me feel less alone as an immigrant and his real stories of resilience continues to encourage me that we are all, as one.
3) Maid by Stephanie Land Just started this one was a recommendation from Obama’s summer read’s list and am following the life of a single mother and her courage to keep her baby alive.

So, going to try out working from Starbucks next week and see how it goes :)

Wynne

As a newly born freelancer again I’ve been going through past work to put together my portfolio. It’s a challenge after ten years of work. Going through the files and seeing the non-linear results pop up when I searched for “portoflio” made me get up for a second coffee before digging in.

I remember watching Marie Kondo on Netflix and decided that maybe, I can use the same technique to help pick the work that sparks joy. So, that’s what I did; I made two folders. Sparks Joy and Does not Spark Joy. Let’s just start there. I think I’ll feel more confident and happy, talking about those projects as well. Talking about them always brings me back to the goodtimes with my previous co-workers.

I noticed a lot of similar and beautiful web work in my early career. Five years in I got to try out my design skills and built on new surfaces like Apple Watches, TV’s, tablets and mobile devices. That moment at Amazon where I worked on the 3D phone was the most difficult and I’m so grateful for my coworkers who I worked with that helped me rig up the space in a program called Cinema 4D. I lead a service design team, software most recently at Adobe and just last week I worked on a demo project for a self-driving car. The world is changing so quickly, it’s both exciting and terrifying. Both feelings convey the same physical symptoms. Did you know that?

Being on my own now, I often feel lost in this non-regulated way of living; and I’m noticing that I’m questioning a lot of things that I’m doing rather than just doing them. It’s like I keep forgetting that all I have to do, is just to remember how rare this time is right now where I get to audit my work, make sense of it.

Keep and grow what sparks joy and to discard and thank the work that no longer does.

Love,
Wynne

Because you are unique and a powerful creator.

There’s nobody out there just like you. As humans, we are creators, Gods. If we look around and see the beautiful buildings, bridges and planes those were created by us, humans. I remember reading somewhere that in a certain religion we greet each other in a prayer because we acknowledge that inside each of us is a powerful creator.

Because of the way our lives are structured and the opportunities available; many of us had to do work; work, meaning exchanging a service or item for money that may not align to what we’re good at and enjoy. Why does the feeling of joy, matter? It matters because joy is the feeling that helps guide us to the powerful creator we are inside.

Today we are all collectively experiencing the results of a digital transformation that’s been growing exponentially. This digital transformation has deconstructed the traditional value chains and transformed our ability to transact with businesses and one another. No more linear value chains. The necessity to align with what we’re good and who we are will feel more urgent.

For me as a Product Designer, there are so many more designers that are very capable to solve problems. Wherever I look there’s a new designer coming up and hundreds graduating everyday. If I try to compete with them I will generally fall on the wrong side.

So tonight I asked myself: “Wynne, what have you really done really well in your career the past ten years?"

Activity: Take 5 minutes to list out everything that you think you’ve been good at in your career. Then, for every answer, clarify it with an action and start with: I’m really good at… Here were my statements and I’m really good at statements:

• Adapting in new places whether it’s been a city or a new job

  • I’m really good at making myself feel comfortable and safe in uncomfortable situations that others may find stressful or fearful

• Making people like me

  • I’m really good at building relationships

• Seeing the best in others

  • I’m really good at being compassionate

• Implementing design processes

  • I’m really good at understanding what people might need and then introducing it to them

• Influencing people

  • I’m really good at talking to people

• Design

  • I’m really good at solving problems

• Design work

  • I’m really good at doing the work to solve problems

• Art

  • I’m really good at making new things from nothing

• Painting

  • I’m really good at imagining and self-expressing

• Drawing

  • I’m really good at picturing things and explaining through my hands

• Sketching

  • I’m really good at communicating with my hands and imagination

• Looking online for answers

  • I’m really good at looking for the answers

• Being down to earth

  • I’m really good at telling the truth

• Making people laugh

  • I’m really good at knowing what makes people laugh

• Motivating people

  • I’m really good at making people feel like they are awesome

• Hardworking

  • I’m really good at being under a lot of stress and pressure and still finish the job

• Self-motivating

  • I’m really good at encouraging myself to never give up

• Hopeful

  • I’m really good at inspiring myself and others around me

Here’s where I noticed that the things that I’m really good at aren’t necessarily things that I enjoyed. So, I crossed off the ones that I didn’t enjoy and here is what I’m left with and replaced “I’m really good at” with “I really enjoy” and here’s what I found:

• I really enjoy trying new things

• I really enjoy solving problems

• I really enjoy making new things from nothing

• I really enjoy imagining and self-expressing

• I really enjoy looking for the answers

• I really enjoy making people laugh

• I really enjoy inspiring myself and others around me

I ended up updating my resume to reflect a lot of the things that I do enjoy and that I’m good at (above). It’s been super helpful to make my resume feel more honest to who I am. I’ve also noticed that when I speak to recruiters and potential clients that I am much clearer on what I’m truly good at and what I enjoy.

Chris Do at The Futur has an awesome template for resumes that you can download here.

Wynne

It’s been quite the whirlwind relocating back to Canada. I quit a high paying job and decided to come back to Canada for comfort. It was a huge risk to do that, because stepping into the unknown always feels terrifying for me. I moved back to be with my family though, something that I sacrificed not being around for seven years while I worked away. I missed them terribly. I thought that if I just move back and just find any design job that I can just resume my peaceful life of being a designer.

That didn’t happen. I did, end up finding a design job but it didn’t work out. I was wrongfully terminated because I did what I always do, ask user experience questions. I’m just not willing to do any design work that doesn’t have adequate design thinking behind it because I value the work that we use out there; and with the mass amounts of content and devices we use; we all deserve to have something that’s at least been vetted through a design process.

I again tried to apply for more remote positions and even local jobs. I got several interviews but I noticed during the interviews that I didn’t know, what I wanted to work on. I couldn’t answer their questions when they asked that. That I confidently answered questions on what I did in the past; that when I was asked on what I wanted to do; I had no response. It was even scarier that somehow, now that I have the freedom to choose what I want to work on that not knowing was going to be the thing that really doesn’t get me the job.

I felt frustrated and less of myself. I didn’t know what to do. I had a portfolio with all this work but somehow still couldn’t find anyone to hire me.

I told my husband about everything yesterday and how I once again offered to be everything to everyone. I was even creating a new business plan for my freelance work where I would offer to do all work for everyone!

My husband, listening to this stopped me. “You need to do what you want to do, Wynne.” And for me, I know what that is. I really love design consulting and facilitating workshops. That’s truly what I feel confident at doing. So, I’m going to stick by that. It’s actually what I said during interviews too, when they asked me.

I also noticed that I did everything for everyone the way that they wanted to because I wanted to please them. I thought that by pleasing them, them being my previous directors and managers that I would be liked; and that I would then get promoted. And that somehow, I would feel safe. Safe from being overlooked. Safe from being laid off. That if I, just conformed and did whatever anyone asked me to do; that I would just be accepted. And for a whole decade that’s what happened. I didn’t get overlooked. I never got fired (well, until I spoke my truth). I never got laid off. Sure, I felt safe but I didn’t know how to stand up for who I really am and what I truly believed in.

I believe in making work on purpose. I believe in intentional product design.

We are surrounded by new devices, services and experiences everyday. We have an excess of it all. I want to be able to make products that are validated by people. Which is what product design is:

Product design is the process of identifying a market opportunity, clearly defining the problem, developing a proper solution for that problem and validating the solution with real users.

I’ve updated my website, as you can see with no options to do one-off freelance work but only option to consult and help small business grow, through design thinking. I’ve seen the powers of it at work in the past and I will stand by it.

I’m also taking a few courses on Coursera today and going to apply for that Consultation job at Deloitte :)! Wish me luck!

Wynne

And since it’s Monday and all, here’s my favorite Tina Turner, I hope that you don’t ever lose you :) !

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(work-in-progress) Wynne Leung

I notice that as I write more in the evenings my drawings and paintings are also becoming more clear. It’s like I’m able to articulate through them. Drawing and writing are perhaps similar in the ways in which they express. More work on this one this week. Looks like we’re just getting started.

I've been trying to re-establish my relationships in Toronto after being away for almost a decade. During my time there this summer, I’m staying with my cousin. All the habits and rules reminded me of my upbringing. I grew up mostly with my beloved cousins as my mother worked during the day. So, in a way, I’m going back to see how I was “made.”

I recall the countless lessons and classes we had to attend after school and on weekends. There were Chinese and math schools on Saturdays and various activities scattered throughout the week: piano, swimming, trips to the library, art classes, gymnastics. During the summer, I didn’t really have a break because we were in Chinese “camp” from 9 am to 6 pm. I remember evenings playing games with my cousins, learning about strategy and math through card games. It was mesmerizing and I always tried my best to catch up. Despite the challenges, it was fun and peaceful. I remember the board games, especially Monopoly, and watching Chinese soap operas on videotapes with my cousin. We had bike rides with the wind brushing against our skin and sleepovers with other cousins. We also had house rules: meals at the same time everyday and regimented waking and sleeping times.

I used to feel trapped and confused by all these rules. There were so many that I felt like I couldn’t breathe at times. This time, going back with my husband, I felt nervous for subjecting him to the regimen I grew up with.

However, I realized that these rules made me a resilient person. As an immigrant with absolutely nothing, coming to Canada at five years old, this rigor and belief in not giving up, my work ethic, and a certain level of intelligence were "trained" into me from a young age. These qualities helped me achieve everything I have today: two properties, a marriage, a career I love, and a mental attitude that convinces me I can learn anything if I put my mind to it. I developed a competitive edge; the more someone said I couldn’t do something, the harder I worked to prove them wrong. I became extremely focused and capable of solving most of my challenges on my own.

I know now that it’s thanks to the efforts of my guardians growing up. What was seen as a “competitive” attitude was actually nurturing grit, perseverance, and mental toughness. There were too many moments in Seattle and San Francisco where I had absolutely nothing—literally $1500 in my account and not a penny more. Knowing my mother depended on me, plus all the mental toughness training I had, I created budgets, organized my days, built supportive relationships, asked for help, and learned everything I could at lightning speed.

Looking back, I realize that the training and sacrifices my guardians made truly enabled me to succeed. No matter how hard things got, I never lost hope—not once.

I never lost hope—not once.

When I see how different parents raise their children now, I notice some put their children in more activities than others. Although I didn’t have the most freedom growing up, the regimens mentally prepared me for many adult challenges. For instance, what do you do when all your items are shipped to San Francisco, and now the entire apartment is flooding and you know nobody there? What do you do when your mother gambles away all the money you gave her? What do you do when your ex-boyfriend won’t stop coming to your apartment and you need to leave?

All of these became challenges and fun problems to solve. Some were painful, but I always had hope. Somehow, I always believed in myself. Witnessing my cousins solve difficult challenges and the rigor they applied made me believe that anything is possible and can be done with a sense of fun.

Looking forward, I think I’m going to go back to living with my cousin and her family over the summer. They run a tight ship and are doing an extraordinary job keeping the kids in check and helping them believe in themselves. I am so grateful for my upbringing and am feeling so excited to see how that part is showing up in my life today.

For so many years I carried myself through school, college and through work trying to fix myself and make myself functional at work with my friends and I just kept on holding on. Holding onto not exposing how broken I was already ever since I was four. Dragging my broken pieces along, too afraid and ashamed to let anyone see how broken I was.

How much I didn’t feel like I belonged anywhere or to anyone.

Yet, in some ways there is a freedom to it. My body is unwilling to continue to fight to have all the pieces put back together; it yearns to be exposed broken as they are with scars and everything. So today, I let myself completely fall apart. I just did. All these years of trying to keep it together for myself, my family and being really on my own my whole life really just took a toll on me.

My husband watched as I cried today for hours; sitting in our car, Bobby. Feeling him by my side as I exposed how broken I was - I was shocked at how much I held and hid my whole life.

My body aches from all the crying today. I just know that it was a relief to have permission to completely fall apart and shatter into a million pieces. And this time, I had my husband here to carry all my pieces and tell me that he loves and cares for me just as I am.

Wynne

“Still Waiting”, acrylic on muslin, 36” x 60”, Wynne Leung, 2020

“Still Waiting”, acrylic on muslin, 36” x 60”, Wynne Leung, 2020

“Still Waiting”, acrylic on muslin, 36” x 60”, Wynne Leung, 2020

Love is love.

Wynne